Valuing Other People’s Time: Why You Should Do It, and How to Show It
You’ve probably heard the phrase “time is money” used to express that time is valuable, and should not be wasted. I agree with the sentiment, but I’d argue we should take it even further, because that analogy underestimates the value of time. Losing money is bad, but it is at least theoretically possible to recoup lost funds. When time is lost, it is lost forever. As a sign of respect, it is important to show others that you value their time, especially in the workplace. I can’t stress this enough: everyone’s time is valuable.
In this post I’ll focus mainly on requests for help that fall outside of the requestee’s work duties. For example, you might be tempted to ask a co-worker for technical help, even though you have an IT department or IT support from vendors, because your co-worker is “good with this stuff”. While it’s particularly important to respect someone’s time when you ask for help that falls outside their job description, you should take care to show colleagues that you appreciate them and respect their time when making any request, because they’re human beings.
A common problem — especially in academia — is that people are too often asked for free labor. Free labor is work that falls outside of your job description, or that goes above and beyond the duties your job description entails in quantity, and yet is uncompensated, and does not advance your career. In academia, unpaid work disproportionately falls on the shoulders of women, people of color, and members of other marginalized groups who are generally underrepresented in senior career positions (e.g., in STEM). Because time is a limited resource, asking for free labor means you are asking the requestee to take time away from other, potentially career-advancing work in service of your needs. In other words, asking someone for free labor devalues their time.
What do I mean by “devalue” in the context of time? There’s the literal sense of course, in which you ask someone to do something and do not offer compensation for it. But, more generally, I’m referring to requests that are made in a way that insinuate the requestee isn’t already busy, or has nothing better to do. Of course it’s necessary and fine to ask for help from co-workers, I only ask that we show our co-workers kindness and respect when doing so.
If kindness isn’t reason enough to respect others’ time, consider the productivity cost associated with interpersonal dynamics that can easily become toxic. When you feel that someone does not value your time, resentment can set in, especially when that person is in a position of power over you. If a co-worker devalues your time, you may feel resentment toward them, or avoid interacting with them entirely (especially if the person is a habitual time waster), even when doing so costs you productivity. That may be in the best interest of your mental health: maintaining mental well-being is more important than being productive, in the grand scheme (and harm to your mental health is counter-productive; see: mental health in the workplace).
How can these workplace communication issues be avoided? To work as a team, we need to ask one another for help, and whether you ask for help in a way that respects the other person’s time can determine how the request is received. It is also important to weigh your request carefully before you ask for help that falls outside of your co-worker’s job description — particularly if your co-worker belongs to a marginalized group, given that these requests disproportionately fall on them.
Problem: Asking for help with no notice
Unless the person you’re asking for help provides an on-call service dedicated to addressing problems of the sort you need help with, you should not expect them to drop what they’re doing to help you with your work. (Emergencies, such as equipment failures that must be dealt with immediately, are the obvious exception).
To stay productive and organized, many people (myself included) budget our working hours in advance to accomplish tasks. By Monday at the latest, I have a sense for what my schedule on Tuesday will look like, and what I need to accomplish on Tuesday to stay on top of my goals for the week. I can try to budget some flexibility for the unexpected, but because I can’t know what unexpected issues may come up, or how long such issues might take to deal with, it is impossible to budget the right amount of time for them. Realistically, there are many reasons why our plans might need to change, but some of those reasons are foreseeable or preventable, and others are not.
When you ask a colleague to drop what they’re doing to help you when it is convenient for you, you are asking them to compromise their work progress to further yours. It constitutes a preventable deviation from their planned workflow. Does this mean you can’t ask a colleague for help? Of course it doesn’t. You should, however, ask for help in a way that is mindful of your colleague’s time. Requesting a meeting in advance means that your colleague can budget time in the future to help you, rather than choosing between helping you now and meeting their current goals. It’s mutually beneficial to schedule a meeting because it protects time in the week for both of you to deal with the issue at hand, rather than one person potentially throwing a monkey wrench in the other’s plan. By requesting a meeting, you are asking for help in a way that is respectful of the other person’s time (because you are not asking them to accommodate your schedule and compromise their own). Importantly, giving advanced notice allows them to prepare ahead of time as needed, which benefits everyone (it makes the meeting more efficient).
Once a meeting is on the books, it’s important for both parties to be on time to attend the meeting, and to give as much notice as possible if you need to reschedule. Of course, life gets in the way, and that’s fine — just try to communicate that if the situation allows. What you don’t want is for habitual tardiness to send the message that you don’t value the time of the other people involved. If you find it difficult to get where you need to be on time, it helps to plan to be there early, and to budget extra time for factors that you can’t control (like traffic) whenever possible.
If your question is general enough (e.g., a straightforward programming question), you can consider asking for help from a knowledgeable person using Q&A communities (like StackExchange) or on social media (e.g., Twitter). These platforms allow knowledgeable users to respond to your question on their own time as they feel moved to help. Even better, search those platforms for the question before you ask — chances are someone else has also had that question, and the answer may be right there waiting for you!
What if I can’t request a meeting in advance?
If you must request help in the moment, try to give your colleague an out, or the opportunity to help at a later time. For example, ask “do you have some time to help me with [very brief description of the problem]?” Phrasing the question this way allows them to say no, or to find a time when they can help, whereas launching straight to the question (“How do I do x?”) can come across as demanding. It assumes that the listener will drop what they’re doing and help you right now.
Of course, emergencies do happen, and whoever you need to ask for help should be able to recognize the urgency of the situation. That being said, it’s important to be able to differentiate between personal work emergencies (e.g., “Oh shit, I had a week to get this done but I lost track of time and now it’s due in 5 minutes, help!”) and emergencies that affect the team (e.g., an equipment failure that must be reconciled now or everyone loses progress). Your colleague will be able to tell the difference, and probably will not be champing at the bit to help with time-sensitive issues of the former category.
But what if it’s a quick question?
That question raises something of a paradox: if you don’t know the answer to the question, or the solution to the problem, then you aren’t really in a position to gauge how long it will take your colleague to help. I’m sure you think it’s a quick question, and it probably is! But, again, if you don’t know the answer, you can’t be sure, and it’s better not to assume.
Even if helping you would be quick for your colleague, interruptions can be highly disruptive, especially for creative work (like writing or programming). Your colleague could lose their train of thought, forget what they were doing, lose their writing groove, momentum, etc. I have lost ideas forever because I lost my train of thought before I could write it down.
If you have to ask for help right then and there, ask in a way that is considerate, and don’t argue with your colleague (“but it’ll only take a second!”) if they decline because they are busy. Such an argument could be received as “I consider my time to be more valuable to me than yours is to you”.
Problem: Asking for help before troubleshooting yourself
There’s a reason the site let me google that for you exists. If your colleague can use a search engine to answer your question, that means you could have done so as well, which would only have spent your own time rather than taking away from someone else’s. You should always ask a computer for help first, because it won’t resent you for asking (…that we know of). In a similar vein, if there is a manual that could help you, you should peruse it for the solution before asking a colleague for help (per the tech adage “RTFM”).
Oh, but I’m certain so-and-so knows how to fix it.
That may be the case, but it’s unkind to treat a human like a search engine. A search engine is a service, and your coworker is a human being, not a service.
When you ask someone to give you their time before making an attempt to solve a problem yourself, it may send the message that you think their time is not as valuable as yours. Instead, try to solve the problem yourself first, however unlikely you think you are to succeed. You might surprise yourself!
If you can’t solve it on your own after an attempt, that’s ok. Ask for help in a respectful way, and explain what you have done to troubleshoot already. For example, “Do you have some time to help with [brief description of problem]? I tried [search query that you used] and [manual or other resource that you read] and none of the suggested solutions worked.” If you tried asking for help in a Q&A community, you can offer to send them a link to the post. If you provide context about what you tried already, you’ll save your colleague and yourself more time by ruling out potential solutions that you already know won’t work. Communicating that you made a good faith effort before turning to your colleague for help is a great way to show that you value their time.
The take-home message
Work is complicated. You will encounter problems at work that you can’t figure out on your own, and you’ll need help from your colleagues to solve them. When you ask others for help, you should do so in a way that shows you respect their time. Communicate your request in advance whenever possible, and always be considerate.
This means providing advance notice if possible, scheduling a meeting when you can, and giving your colleague an out when you make a request. If you instead spring the problem on them and expect help right then and there, your colleague may take that to mean 1) you think whatever plans they had for the day are not important, and 2) you consider your work, and therefore your time, to be more valuable than theirs.
When you make a meeting, do your best to stick to it, and to be on time. Remember, they are making time to help you, and that time is precious. If you need to reschedule, communicate that as soon as you can.
Emergencies happen and are understandable exceptions. Whenever possible, take a moment before you ask for someone’s time to check whether the answer to your question is easily available on a search engine, and, if not, to ask in a way that communicates appreciation and respect. Doing so requires little time and effort on your part, and will help your colleagues feel valued.
Work is easier, more productive, and more efficient for all involved when we show kindness and respect in workplace communications.
